That (see previous post) being said...

...I need to repent of a lack of trust. I am intensely paranoid or perhaps superstitious about my new-found happiness. I keep waiting for something terrible to happen and for the happiness to be snatched away. I'm waiting to be diagnosed with a fatal illness, for Paul to be in a car accident, for our house to burn down, for my new friends to decide I'm not really worth the bother.

I guess I feel like God gave me a break when I was at the end of my roped physically and emotionally, and that once I've regained my strength I'm going to be tossed back into the fray. And that's no way to live. Life will not always be this great, and there will be challenges to be faced. But they're not to be dreaded, and right now I dread them. Maybe that means there's more healing needed for me. Or maybe I just need to stop being ridiculous.

I guess the chorus of the song isn't as silly as I may have indicated:

"This innocence is brilliant; I hope that it will still -
This moment is perfect; Please don't go away..."

I wish I could live in this peace forever.