McMillenisms

I found this recently on my computer. It is a listing of things that one of our Bethany professors said that made me laugh, in or out of context. I don't remember if this was from one class, one year, or a grand collection, but here it is for the enjoyment of my BBC compatriots. Mr. McMillen is truly a good man who I have a lot of respect for. And, of course, I have great memories of the random and sarcastic things he said :)

ABOUT MR. McMILLEN

“Lord, give me the gift of singleness.”
“I am acting like a fool, but you’re forcing me to do it.”
“Not having been beheaded, I’m not sure how it feels.”
“I’m a great teacher. Come listen to me.”
“I really don’t know the full history of paper.”
“Me, I prefer to watch Murder, She Wrote.”
“Yes, I agree. Anything goes.”
“I’m just special.”
“I’m not Jesus, you see.”
“I was raised to say that the “Y” is silent.”
“I’m bread. Eat me. Start chomping on my ears. Forget what Greg has to offer.”
“I embody truth.”
“Am I really a Christian?”
“I get anachronistic every now and then.”
“I don’t have an address.”
“I’m fighting God? Oops! That’s not good!”
“I know, I’m an atheist.”
“I can’t talk today.”
“That leaves... ME. Period.”
“I don’t know the history of Christianity on Crete.”
“I don’t know why Paul was wearing an apron.”
“For some reason I did a whole course of suicide. It wasn’t a how-to course.”
“I tend not to revel in great trials.”
“I can’t blame Peter if I’m having trouble.”
“I just randomly went to the Ouija board and came up with some letters.”


SIMPLE TRUTH - “I think that’s good theology.”

“There’s no need to look elsewhere for fullness. You can’t get fuller than full.”
“Throw your Old Testaments away.”
“There’s some hair removal going on here. That much we know.”
“You don’t have to be a rocket scientist. You just have to know Greek.”
“We might be talking about a feather.”
“All angels are green and travel in little spaceships.”
“There are no ducks on the board.”
“Cannibalism is the secret to salvation.”
“That’s expediency, and that’s okay.”
“That’s dying for some other reason quite different than Christ as a matter of fact.”
“Well, they both start with C and they both have R’s in them.”
“It’s doable. Do it.”
“The gravity pulled the gospel down.”
“Maybe we don’t even need Jesus or something.”
“If they don’t, then you do.”
“He’s with, which is out, not in... So coming in can be described as a with... That’s God’s math.”
“Children kept getting born.”
“All babies are small in stature.”
“Who does that? God does that!”
“Second Peter is a whole other kettle of fish.”
“Peter had a vision of a sheet with all kinds of eccentric and delectable items on it.”
“God will take all your enemies and melt them.”


ALL ABOUT US

“A demon is controlling you.”
“Look, you incestuous character!”
“I don’t know why somebody didn’t kill him.”
“Did I hear a voice of heresy?”
“I know you desperately want any date you can get... Some for different reasons than others.”
“Don’t feel you need to cancel [your plans] because of 1 Cor. 7.”
“Just because you’re a toenail doesn’t mean you’re not important.”
“I don’t mean to insult you in the process.”
“Yes, you are a sinner.”
“You’d better pay attention to what you heard, not to all the garbage that’s coming at you now.”
“I know you’ll be delighted to be exposed to some heresy.”
“Yeah, wrap your mind around THAT.”
“If you want to open the tomb... Well, anyway...”
“You killed Jesus! How dare you!?”
“That wasn’t quite appropriate!”
“You bought into this garbage from these poor deluded fisherman.”
“Don’t anybody quit just because Paul didn’t go to Bethany.”
“I don’t know how you would respond if some demon possessed guy or gal said “listen!””
“I hope you do, too.”
“I do want you to know that there’s some Biblical evidence for some of these points.”
“That’s an important text to keep in mind if JW’s knock at your door.”
“How are we going to get any sleep with all THAT going on??”
“In a 50 minute class period, 32 Christians are martyred. Add 15 more minutes and you’re all gone.”
“You’re just bubbling over with great joy.”
“Are we encouraged yet?”


SOLID THEOLOGY (heresy?)

“Certainly forgiveness. Who needs that? We’re all fine and wonderful!”
“The god of our world...Well, let’s see. There’s several.”
“[Mark was the] First streaker...”
“Life and death... people just fluctuated between the two.”
“He’s saying this BEFORE he’s killed.”
“Why would God give a law if the law’s garbage?”
“Peter punched his lights out. Branded him a heretic.”
“He decided Timothy should go to hell, so he had him circumcised.”
“The demons won that one.”
“Titus is THE MAN.”


QUALIFIERS AND CONNECTORS FOR BUILDING YOUR OWN HERESY
“And speaking of monks making copies...”
“I thought I’d throw that in just to accent the point.”
“Oh well. Rip that out of the Bible now.”
“Look at that. Look at that.”
“No, that’s a prophesy.”
“That’s a good word for any believer, anywhere, at any time.”
“You probably DO know, but just a little refresher.”
“That’s not the kind of stuff we like to read for our devotions. Maybe we SHOULD.”
“It’s a strong message focused on truth.”
“Oh, it’s so hard to tell! Was it through God, or through alcohol?”
“Sometimes it will be shocking.”
“This isn’t somebody who just fell off a turnip truck.”
“It might be helpful to look at the following information.”
“That’s what I think happened...among other things.”
“And I don’t recall if Stott mentions this at all.”
“How should I word this?... NO.”
“One does want to keep in mind the full context.”
“...Looks like, acts like, feels like.. Whatever.”
“I haven’t had a word from heaven on that so I think I have free reign.”
“That is no the image one is trying to portray as on e shares the gospel.”
“If you take all that literally, it’s pretty hard to say.”