McMillenisms

I found this recently on my computer. It is a listing of things that one of our Bethany professors said that made me laugh, in or out of context. I don't remember if this was from one class, one year, or a grand collection, but here it is for the enjoyment of my BBC compatriots. Mr. McMillen is truly a good man who I have a lot of respect for. And, of course, I have great memories of the random and sarcastic things he said :)

ABOUT MR. McMILLEN

“Lord, give me the gift of singleness.”
“I am acting like a fool, but you’re forcing me to do it.”
“Not having been beheaded, I’m not sure how it feels.”
“I’m a great teacher. Come listen to me.”
“I really don’t know the full history of paper.”
“Me, I prefer to watch Murder, She Wrote.”
“Yes, I agree. Anything goes.”
“I’m just special.”
“I’m not Jesus, you see.”
“I was raised to say that the “Y” is silent.”
“I’m bread. Eat me. Start chomping on my ears. Forget what Greg has to offer.”
“I embody truth.”
“Am I really a Christian?”
“I get anachronistic every now and then.”
“I don’t have an address.”
“I’m fighting God? Oops! That’s not good!”
“I know, I’m an atheist.”
“I can’t talk today.”
“That leaves... ME. Period.”
“I don’t know the history of Christianity on Crete.”
“I don’t know why Paul was wearing an apron.”
“For some reason I did a whole course of suicide. It wasn’t a how-to course.”
“I tend not to revel in great trials.”
“I can’t blame Peter if I’m having trouble.”
“I just randomly went to the Ouija board and came up with some letters.”


SIMPLE TRUTH - “I think that’s good theology.”

“There’s no need to look elsewhere for fullness. You can’t get fuller than full.”
“Throw your Old Testaments away.”
“There’s some hair removal going on here. That much we know.”
“You don’t have to be a rocket scientist. You just have to know Greek.”
“We might be talking about a feather.”
“All angels are green and travel in little spaceships.”
“There are no ducks on the board.”
“Cannibalism is the secret to salvation.”
“That’s expediency, and that’s okay.”
“That’s dying for some other reason quite different than Christ as a matter of fact.”
“Well, they both start with C and they both have R’s in them.”
“It’s doable. Do it.”
“The gravity pulled the gospel down.”
“Maybe we don’t even need Jesus or something.”
“If they don’t, then you do.”
“He’s with, which is out, not in... So coming in can be described as a with... That’s God’s math.”
“Children kept getting born.”
“All babies are small in stature.”
“Who does that? God does that!”
“Second Peter is a whole other kettle of fish.”
“Peter had a vision of a sheet with all kinds of eccentric and delectable items on it.”
“God will take all your enemies and melt them.”


ALL ABOUT US

“A demon is controlling you.”
“Look, you incestuous character!”
“I don’t know why somebody didn’t kill him.”
“Did I hear a voice of heresy?”
“I know you desperately want any date you can get... Some for different reasons than others.”
“Don’t feel you need to cancel [your plans] because of 1 Cor. 7.”
“Just because you’re a toenail doesn’t mean you’re not important.”
“I don’t mean to insult you in the process.”
“Yes, you are a sinner.”
“You’d better pay attention to what you heard, not to all the garbage that’s coming at you now.”
“I know you’ll be delighted to be exposed to some heresy.”
“Yeah, wrap your mind around THAT.”
“If you want to open the tomb... Well, anyway...”
“You killed Jesus! How dare you!?”
“That wasn’t quite appropriate!”
“You bought into this garbage from these poor deluded fisherman.”
“Don’t anybody quit just because Paul didn’t go to Bethany.”
“I don’t know how you would respond if some demon possessed guy or gal said “listen!””
“I hope you do, too.”
“I do want you to know that there’s some Biblical evidence for some of these points.”
“That’s an important text to keep in mind if JW’s knock at your door.”
“How are we going to get any sleep with all THAT going on??”
“In a 50 minute class period, 32 Christians are martyred. Add 15 more minutes and you’re all gone.”
“You’re just bubbling over with great joy.”
“Are we encouraged yet?”


SOLID THEOLOGY (heresy?)

“Certainly forgiveness. Who needs that? We’re all fine and wonderful!”
“The god of our world...Well, let’s see. There’s several.”
“[Mark was the] First streaker...”
“Life and death... people just fluctuated between the two.”
“He’s saying this BEFORE he’s killed.”
“Why would God give a law if the law’s garbage?”
“Peter punched his lights out. Branded him a heretic.”
“He decided Timothy should go to hell, so he had him circumcised.”
“The demons won that one.”
“Titus is THE MAN.”


QUALIFIERS AND CONNECTORS FOR BUILDING YOUR OWN HERESY
“And speaking of monks making copies...”
“I thought I’d throw that in just to accent the point.”
“Oh well. Rip that out of the Bible now.”
“Look at that. Look at that.”
“No, that’s a prophesy.”
“That’s a good word for any believer, anywhere, at any time.”
“You probably DO know, but just a little refresher.”
“That’s not the kind of stuff we like to read for our devotions. Maybe we SHOULD.”
“It’s a strong message focused on truth.”
“Oh, it’s so hard to tell! Was it through God, or through alcohol?”
“Sometimes it will be shocking.”
“This isn’t somebody who just fell off a turnip truck.”
“It might be helpful to look at the following information.”
“That’s what I think happened...among other things.”
“And I don’t recall if Stott mentions this at all.”
“How should I word this?... NO.”
“One does want to keep in mind the full context.”
“...Looks like, acts like, feels like.. Whatever.”
“I haven’t had a word from heaven on that so I think I have free reign.”
“That is no the image one is trying to portray as on e shares the gospel.”
“If you take all that literally, it’s pretty hard to say.”

On fire like a peasant.

An update:

My sister Tammy had a baby recently, and it's been difficult for me to process from the standpoint of what IS and what COULD have been. As many of you know, Tammy is my birth sister, and I only met her for the first time less than a year ago. If things had been different, I would have been there, because that's what sisters do. As it is, she's a stranger to me. (And yet I love her; how does one love a stranger?) Anyway, I am an aunt, again -- this is #6 for nieces, two of whom I've yet to meet. I need to get on that; this is ridiculous.

My Person Jill also had a baby, and she's perfect.

I've been limiting my reading lately to the Harry Potter series and I've just reached the last book. I think the 6th has been my favourite so far because obviously the movie isn't out yet, so I got to experience the suspense. I'll be happy when I'm finished because I've found myself using expressions like "blimey!" and "bloody hell!" and "ruddy" in general conversation.

Our cat count is up to five: Emma (ours), Pajamas (ours), Emma (rescue), Cinnamon (rescue), and now little Reyes, who was live-trapped right before the recent hurricane. I've discovered that once you've made it to four, extras don't seem to matter that much. We're overcrowded, but they're all cute; Reyes is a darling. I have high hopes that after next week's adoption fair at our church's community carnival, a few will be leaving us. Finally.

I travelled to Indianapolis for a meeting with the Campus Challenge committee last week. People, if you're a pastor or youth pastor at a Wesleyan church that's not too too far from Bethany, please tell your kids about Campus Challenge. Seriously. Because helping them prepare for their education and encouraging them to attend a Wesleyan school is important. So please, tell them. And if you're coming to Encounter (nee Booster), it's happening during that weekend. So. Tell your kids. If you have questions, ask me, or visit http://www.bbc.ca/encounter/challenge.html. THANKS :) While I was on my trip I went to IWU to see Graham and my sweet Abby Jones, and it was magical.

My health recently has been the pits. But I'm alive and breathing and don't have a fatal condition, so I don't care a bit. As long as I can speak and type I can contribute, so I'm happy with that.

I don't like having too many TV shows on the go, but with satellite time shifting I can catch most of my programs late at night (like, 10) so nothing interferes with life. Grey's and Private Practice both hit home runs with their season premieres, so they're here to stay. The Office as well. House not so much, but I'm going to watch it anyway because I know it CAN be good. And I'm going to stick with The Mentalist to see where it's headed. After the first episode of CSI, I'm done with it again (I stopped watching when Sara left). And I like Ghost Whisperer, but don't tell anyone, because it's ridiculous.

Our youth night is called six:fortyfive. It starts at 7. Everyone is late here for everything, so if they think it starts at 6:45 they'll be on time.

Life has been pretty reactive lately. I think I'm in a rut. I look forward to having the will to be proactive again, and I'm hoping that I will get the funding to work with the animal shelter society so that my pent-up creativity will have a ready-made outlet and will spill out into other areas of my life that should be important to me.

I just played Peasants Quest from start to finish (using the cheat notes on the Internet) and I won but was burninated because Trogdor is, it turns out, invincible.

I have many questions about life recently. Last night I decided it was very important for me to know how honey is made by bees. And how records work. It's all very mindblowing. I'm going to look it up today.

Speaking of bees, I'm also watching Pushing Daisies, which had a solid premiere.

Now I am going to eat French fries.