"Be the Miracle"

I think God may have just changed my heart, and I felt the need to document it.

I just finished watching the 1995 adaptation of "A Little Princess". Now I'm one who will generally latch on to the first incarnation of story that I encounter and then unconsciously choose to dislike all the rest in comparison. So for awhile I was waiting for my favourite lines and favourite events from the Shirley Temple movie, but instead of being disappointed when they weren't forthcoming, I found myself starting to appreciate the screenplay as it was. While I'm sure I've read the book, I have no idea which movie is actually more true to the author's intentions. But all of that is, I suppose, beside the point.

In this adaptation, rather than Sara finding her father in the army hospital, the man who lives beside the school has taken him in. I found the transcript just now on IMDB:

[Randolph and his servant are at a military hospital, where Randolph has discovered that the amnesiac soldier there is not his son John]
Charles Randolph: All the hoping... you must think me a fool.
Ram Dass: Is it your wish to be wise, sahib?
Charles Randolph: I don't know. I suppose a wise man wouldn't have come here at all.
Ram Dass: But if he had, he would have looked more closely upon the soldier's face.
Charles Randolph: And what would he have seen?
Ram Dass: Pain, sahib. He needs to be cared for.
Charles Randolph: He's not my responsibility.
Ram Dass: A wise man would remember that this soldier was in John's regiment. If his memory returns... he might tell sahib what happened to his son. Perhaps sahib would learn that John is in British hospital now wishing a kind man would take him home... away from his pain.

And because he took responsibility for someone that was NOT his responsibility (and because Ram Dass had done the same in extending kindness to the thought-to-be orphaned Sarah) Charles Randolph was used to make a miracle happen. Sara was reunited with her father in the nick of time.

I want to be used like that. I want God to be free to work through me to bless the hopeless and helpless, and see miracles happen.

As I was watching this movie, I began to feel heavily the passage of time, realizing how much time I've wasted on selfishness and my own pursuits. And I made a decision that I pray God will help me live out - that starting today, and every day here after, I will be a blessing. In practical terms, once each day I will consciously speak or act in such a way that God can use to speak His love into someone's life. To not allow myself to climb into bed without knowing that I have BEEN JESUS to someone.

I'm entering into a new phase of life very soon, one that will be very different from the life I'm leading now. A life outside of vocational ministry. And as I had dreamed about what that might look like, I began thinking of beginning work on my ministry model for helping the disadvantaged meet their potential, of working on my MA in ministry leadership and eventually pursuing my doctorate in the same field. But in this moment I think that God is calling me to set those dreams aside for the time being, and take a season to not lead or prepare to lead, but just simply follow HIM. "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples: Love one another." "Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me."

It's time to simplify. To leave my nets and go. Follow. And I can't think of a life more fulfilling.

They say it takes doing something regularly for a month to make it a habit. So for the next month I'm going to keep an online Blessing Journal and spend time seeking the Lord and reflecting in writing about the practice and the principle of being a follower. Thus, I probably won't blog here for awhile. Perhaps a weekly update, if anyone is interested.

For the record: I don't want this to be just a habit - I want this to be my life and breath and heart until my life is over and I'm out of breath and my heart stops beating.

"Be the miracle" is from Bruce Almighty, as you probably recognised. The theology of the statement seems kind of questionable, but I've decided it's not. God is in the business of miracles. And as Christians, we are supposed to be in the business of being the hands and feet of Christ. Makes perfect sense to me. If the world is hungry for miracles, it's because we're not doing our job; God has called us, he has chosen us. "Be the miracle". Day 1.