Looking forward to a rest

We are probably moving to Woods Harbour, Nova Scotia. We might not be, but probably. We'll know mid-May either way, after a "final" visit on Mother's Day weekend. For those of you who don't know where Woods Harbour is, it's on the very south shore.

If we go, Paul will be the youth pastor, a new position there that entails loving the teens and connecting with more teens... and that's all. Anything above and beyond that (which most certainly there will be, since my husband is an incredible systems creator and manager) is gravy. Normally we'd never consider going to a church that didn't have a clear job description and expectations, but after meeting with the pastor and the board and understanding a) these people really, actually, TRULY love Jesus and each other; b) these people really care about teens and want to see them loved and won for the Kingdom; and c) this church hasn't had a youth pastor before, and don't have any "dangerous" preconceptions or expectations, our fears about that have disappeared. I am so excited for him, to be able to finally focus in ONE AREA that he REALLY LOVES. I think this will be a great experience for him.

My life plans if we go there are as follows: a) be Paul's wife; b) get a random job to help pay off some of our debt; and c) take horseback riding lessons. My ministry plans are a) volunteer in areas I am passionate about; and b) feed hungry children (i.e. begin development of a reproducible ministry model that mobilizes the church to meet the physical, emotional, spiritual and cognitive needs of the disadvantaged in the immediate community, beginning with children)

Yes, I am looking forward to a rest. I imagine that I will actually find myself investing MORE time in ministry than I even am right now on a church staff, but I am eagerly anticipating the freedom and filling that will come from serving in my passions, not just my strengths. I am so creatively drained right now (though feeling much better after a week of vacation, and feeling ready to enjoy my last few weeks of worship leading), and the idea of getting out of week-to-week ministry (i.e. a focus on Sunday ministry) and beginning to focus on more long-term stuff (which I do now in lots of areas, like, for example, teen mentoring and musician development, but this would be without the short term pressure on top of it) and spending more time investing in PEOPLE rather than being so task oriented... well, it's exciting.

And, mostly, I just need to feed hungry children, in the way briefly mentioned above. I NEED to. I can stand NOT doing it any more. I feel some days that my heart will BURST if I don't do something RIGHT NOW. But in my job right now... well, let's just say that with all it takes out of me, I don't have a lot left over at the end of the day to give --- because a big part of what I'm doing right now isn't within my passions, it drains instead of fills. It's not that I dislike my job, exactly; I have the skills necessary, and there are parts of it that DO fill me up. But I'm being more drained than I am filled, and that seems very out of balance.

I like the idea of not being on staff at a church. I like having the freedom to serve in the ways that I can be most effective in and attend only things that make sense for me to attend without being "forced" to do everything, attend everything, be everything, etc. etc. or face complaints or emotional terrorism. And this church seems very genuine about their expectation that if I am Paul's wife, I am Paul's wife. It's not a two-for-one, and there won't be, at least at a board/staff level, any expections that I be any more or less involved than anyone else in the church just because I'm married to a pastor.

Paul and I were kind of joking today about NEXT time around (i.e. if/when God calls us to move on) switching things up --- ME going on staff and HIM getting a random job and keeping house and all that. We did that when we first got married, and it was gold --- he loved it, I loved it. I would obviously need to be in a very different staff role than I'm in right now in order to feel fulfilled in my job, but yeah. Maybe.

I also want to get my masters in Christian leadership, I've decided, and probably my doctorate; I'm researching seminaries that are known for their distance education programs. (Any suggestions?) I'd like to teach someday on a college level. But first, hungry children.

Did I mention horseback riding lessons? I've wanted to do that since I was a child. So why not? Why not?

In the not too distant past or not too distant future:

I went to visit Jer and Sarah on Tuesday. I love them. We ate at the Blue Moose twice, and I went to Mardens for the first time ever. 'Twas fabulous.

Soon, there will be Exalt. Three of my precious teens are in Exalt, and I will be on the tour with them as the band leader (during practices), dorm mom (in the evenings) and sound tech (during performances). I like this very much.

My husband has officially graduated from college. :)