Kicks and Cabbages

In WORLD OF WONDERS, Robertson Davies observed the following: "An infant is a seed. Is it an oak seed or a cabbage seed? Who knows? All mothers think their children are oaks, but the world never lacks for cabbages." I like to think that "momma didn't raise no cabbages." Hmm.. I wonder if I'm the only person in the world to have ever thought that? Likely. So there you go; already I have excelled beyond the level of your average ball of vegetable.

Last night I received a swift kick in the teeth as I sat through an unexpected worship service and was not only having trouble keeping criticism at bay, but I was BORED. BORED. And as I was driving home, I started to consider why that might have been.

The more mundane answers: I was tired (VERY tired - like, doing long division during the service just to keep myself awake, tired). It had been a long day. I had been misinformed about the nature of what I was attending (I thought it was a ministerial MEETING, not a SERVICE). I was wearing high heels on a sloped floor, and I was uncomfortable standing for as long as we had to.

The more truthful answers: Of late, my most profound worship experience occured watching Extreme Makeover, Home Edition. I'm not being flip, either --- it was an incredible God-time for me. Music, while I like it, just doesn't seem to be the thing that prompts me to bless God. I mean, I do it on Sundays, as I lead worship, but that's more as a SACRIFICE of praise. But when it comes to formal worship settings, I'm more likely to be led in worship by a turkey dinner then by a worship leader. (Again, not being flip -- sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed by God's provision and faithfulness when I sit down to a meal that I can't help but bless Him.)

Maybe it has to do with vocation --- as a music pastor, so much thought goes into what I do that when OTHER people do it, my mind is conditioned to think it through and either adopt things or "trash" things and learn from them either way. Or maybe it's something else. And you know what? I think it's kind of okay. Because I DO worship God, in my own way. It's consistent, it's genuine, it's spontaneous. So the problem isn't necessarily with my own worship patterns, but with how I have been charged to lead others in worship, and how hard I can sometimes be on them (at least in my mind) when they don't seem to engage God during a service.

More thought needed. Comments?