"Among some talk of you and me..."

So I've been thinking a lot recently...

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 00:57:00 +0000

...about the principle of living what you believe (and the converse reasoning of "if you're not living it, you don't really believe it"). And as such I have been considering what it means to live humanely.

I am planning to take the online MOGO ("Most Good") seminar from humaneeducation.org in the month of February (http://www.humaneeducation.org/sections/view/mogo), and I'm really excited about it. I can't think of anything more God-honouring than living a life that embodies my values (which are Christian values), and I know it's time to step up.

It says in James that "if you know the good and don't do it, you sin." In other words, you are held accountable for what you know. And I have chosen to be a learner, which means that I am going to be held accountable for a lot. But I like a challenge, and I like to feel challenged the way I have recently. So I'm looking forward to finding the tools to live what I believe not just about God, but about my responsibility as a child of God towards my own self, my physical neighbour, my global neighbour, animals and the earth.

I believe that I am called to lead others in "the Way" as I follow Christ, but I must first follow, so for the next season I plan to focus on following instead of leading.

Step one for me is a decision to explore the vegan lifestyle. I can't say that I believe animal cruelty is wrong and be an advocate for companion animals but not other animals. I don't have a problem with eating meat or eggs or using animals for clothing etc., but I DO have a problem with what these industries have been built into and the way they treat the animals. I have also been studying the terrible effects that meat and poultry and dairy have on our health because of the way the animals are doped up to over-produce.

It will be an easy switch for me --- I'm one of those people that eats pretty much the same thing every day and never gets bored of it. There are only a few things I would need to cut out and lots of things I can add it. For example, today I put tofu in my pasta sauce, and it rocked! I'm looking forward to meeting with my doctor in February and getting an appointment with a nutritionist to make sure that I'm getting what I need. I'm looking forward to helping my body heal itself through my choices. I'm looking forward to being able to say with all integrity that my lifestyle reflects my belief that cruelty to animals is a reflection of a heart not surrendered to God, and as an act of worship I will not be a part of it.

So yeah. I've been thinking a lot recently.

McMillenisms

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 00:35:00 +0000

I found this recently on my computer. It is a listing of things that one of our Bethany professors said that made me laugh, in or out of context. I don't remember if this was from one class, one year, or a grand collection, but here it is for the enjoyment of my BBC compatriots. Mr. McMillen is truly a good man who I have a lot of respect for. And, of course, I have great memories of the random and sarcastic things he said :)

ABOUT MR. McMILLEN

“Lord, give me the gift of singleness.”
“I am acting like a fool, but you’re forcing me to do it.”
“Not having been beheaded, I’m not sure how it feels.”
“I’m a great teacher. Come listen to me.”
“I really don’t know the full history of paper.”
“Me, I prefer to watch Murder, She Wrote.”
“Yes, I agree. Anything goes.”
“I’m just special.”
“I’m not Jesus, you see.”
“I was raised to say that the “Y” is silent.”
“I’m bread. Eat me. Start chomping on my ears. Forget what Greg has to offer.”
“I embody truth.”
“Am I really a Christian?”
“I get anachronistic every now and then.”
“I don’t have an address.”
“I’m fighting God? Oops! That’s not good!”
“I know, I’m an atheist.”
“I can’t talk today.”
“That leaves... ME. Period.”
“I don’t know the history of Christianity on Crete.”
“I don’t know why Paul was wearing an apron.”
“For some reason I did a whole course of suicide. It wasn’t a how-to course.”
“I tend not to revel in great trials.”
“I can’t blame Peter if I’m having trouble.”
“I just randomly went to the Ouija board and came up with some letters.”

SIMPLE TRUTH - “I think that’s good theology.”

“There’s no need to look elsewhere for fullness. You can’t get fuller than full.”
“Throw your Old Testaments away.”
“There’s some hair removal going on here. That much we know.”
“You don’t have to be a rocket scientist. You just have to know Greek.”
“We might be talking about a feather.”
“All angels are green and travel in little spaceships.”
“There are no ducks on the board.”
“Cannibalism is the secret to salvation.”
“That’s expediency, and that’s okay.”
“That’s dying for some other reason quite different than Christ as a matter of fact.”
“Well, they both start with C and they both have R’s in them.”
“It’s doable. Do it.”
“The gravity pulled the gospel down.”
“Maybe we don’t even need Jesus or something.”
“If they don’t, then you do.”
“He’s with, which is out, not in... So coming in can be described as a with... That’s God’s math.”
“Children kept getting born.”
“All babies are small in stature.”
“Who does that? God does that!”
“Second Peter is a whole other kettle of fish.”
“Peter had a vision of a sheet with all kinds of eccentric and delectable items on it.”
“God will take all your enemies and melt them.”

ALL ABOUT US

“A demon is controlling you.”
“Look, you incestuous character!”
“I don’t know why somebody didn’t kill him.”
“Did I hear a voice of heresy?”
“I know you desperately want any date you can get... Some for different reasons than others.”
“Don’t feel you need to cancel [your plans] because of 1 Cor. 7.”
“Just because you’re a toenail doesn’t mean you’re not important.”
“I don’t mean to insult you in the process.”
“Yes, you are a sinner.”
“You’d better pay attention to what you heard, not to all the garbage that’s coming at you now.”
“I know you’ll be delighted to be exposed to some heresy.”
“Yeah, wrap your mind around THAT.”
“If you want to open the tomb... Well, anyway...”
“You killed Jesus! How dare you!?”
“That wasn’t quite appropriate!”
“You bought into this garbage from these poor deluded fisherman.”
“Don’t anybody quit just because Paul didn’t go to Bethany.”
“I don’t know how you would respond if some demon possessed guy or gal said “listen!””
“I hope you do, too.”
“I do want you to know that there’s some Biblical evidence for some of these points.”
“That’s an important text to keep in mind if JW’s knock at your door.”
“How are we going to get any sleep with all THAT going on??”
“In a 50 minute class period, 32 Christians are martyred. Add 15 more minutes and you’re all gone.”
“You’re just bubbling over with great joy.”
“Are we encouraged yet?”

SOLID THEOLOGY (heresy?)

“Certainly forgiveness. Who needs that? We’re all fine and wonderful!”
“The god of our world...Well, let’s see. There’s several.”
“[Mark was the] First streaker...”
“Life and death... people just fluctuated between the two.”
“He’s saying this BEFORE he’s killed.”
“Why would God give a law if the law’s garbage?”
“Peter punched his lights out. Branded him a heretic.”
“He decided Timothy should go to hell, so he had him circumcised.”
“The demons won that one.”
“Titus is THE MAN.”

QUALIFIERS AND CONNECTORS FOR BUILDING YOUR OWN HERESY
“And speaking of monks making copies...”
“I thought I’d throw that in just to accent the point.”
“Oh well. Rip that out of the Bible now.”
“Look at that. Look at that.”
“No, that’s a prophesy.”
“That’s a good word for any believer, anywhere, at any time.”
“You probably DO know, but just a little refresher.”
“That’s not the kind of stuff we like to read for our devotions. Maybe we SHOULD.”
“It’s a strong message focused on truth.”
“Oh, it’s so hard to tell! Was it through God, or through alcohol?”
“Sometimes it will be shocking.”
“This isn’t somebody who just fell off a turnip truck.”
“It might be helpful to look at the following information.”
“That’s what I think happened...among other things.”
“And I don’t recall if Stott mentions this at all.”
“How should I word this?... NO.”
“One does want to keep in mind the full context.”
“...Looks like, acts like, feels like.. Whatever.”
“I haven’t had a word from heaven on that so I think I have free reign.”
“That is no the image one is trying to portray as on e shares the gospel.”
“If you take all that literally, it’s pretty hard to say.”

On fire like a peasant.

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 18:24:00 +0000

An update:

My sister Tammy had a baby recently, and it's been difficult for me to process from the standpoint of what IS and what COULD have been. As many of you know, Tammy is my birth sister, and I only met her for the first time less than a year ago. If things had been different, I would have been there, because that's what sisters do. As it is, she's a stranger to me. (And yet I love her; how does one love a stranger?) Anyway, I am an aunt, again -- this is #6 for nieces, two of whom I've yet to meet. I need to get on that; this is ridiculous.

My Person Jill also had a baby, and she's perfect.

I've been limiting my reading lately to the Harry Potter series and I've just reached the last book. I think the 6th has been my favourite so far because obviously the movie isn't out yet, so I got to experience the suspense. I'll be happy when I'm finished because I've found myself using expressions like "blimey!" and "bloody hell!" and "ruddy" in general conversation.

Our cat count is up to five: Emma (ours), Pajamas (ours), Emma (rescue), Cinnamon (rescue), and now little Reyes, who was live-trapped right before the recent hurricane. I've discovered that once you've made it to four, extras don't seem to matter that much. We're overcrowded, but they're all cute; Reyes is a darling. I have high hopes that after next week's adoption fair at our church's community carnival, a few will be leaving us. Finally.

I travelled to Indianapolis for a meeting with the Campus Challenge committee last week. People, if you're a pastor or youth pastor at a Wesleyan church that's not too too far from Bethany, please tell your kids about Campus Challenge. Seriously. Because helping them prepare for their education and encouraging them to attend a Wesleyan school is important. So please, tell them. And if you're coming to Encounter (nee Booster), it's happening during that weekend. So. Tell your kids. If you have questions, ask me, or visit http://www.bbc.ca/encounter/challenge.html. THANKS :) While I was on my trip I went to IWU to see Graham and my sweet Abby Jones, and it was magical.

My health recently has been the pits. But I'm alive and breathing and don't have a fatal condition, so I don't care a bit. As long as I can speak and type I can contribute, so I'm happy with that.

I don't like having too many TV shows on the go, but with satellite time shifting I can catch most of my programs late at night (like, 10) so nothing interferes with life. Grey's and Private Practice both hit home runs with their season premieres, so they're here to stay. The Office as well. House not so much, but I'm going to watch it anyway because I know it CAN be good. And I'm going to stick with The Mentalist to see where it's headed. After the first episode of CSI, I'm done with it again (I stopped watching when Sara left). And I like Ghost Whisperer, but don't tell anyone, because it's ridiculous.

Our youth night is called six:fortyfive. It starts at 7. Everyone is late here for everything, so if they think it starts at 6:45 they'll be on time.

Life has been pretty reactive lately. I think I'm in a rut. I look forward to having the will to be proactive again, and I'm hoping that I will get the funding to work with the animal shelter society so that my pent-up creativity will have a ready-made outlet and will spill out into other areas of my life that should be important to me.

I just played Peasants Quest from start to finish (using the cheat notes on the Internet) and I won but was burninated because Trogdor is, it turns out, invincible.

I have many questions about life recently. Last night I decided it was very important for me to know how honey is made by bees. And how records work. It's all very mindblowing. I'm going to look it up today.

Speaking of bees, I'm also watching Pushing Daisies, which had a solid premiere.

Now I am going to eat French fries.

John Symonds is MY hero

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:00:00 +0000

I don't know how I could have missed this; it has mostly people I know, so it must have been not long after I graduated. But gracious. Classic.

Irresistable Revolution

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:45:00 +0000

"Ask the poor. They will tell you who the Christians are." - Gandhi

I'm one of many, no doubt, who have read this book by Shane Claiborne and wondered what to do about it. I haven't even read the whole thing; I'm stuck on chapter 6, and don't want to move past it.

My current paragraph of "stuckness": "Simplicity is meaningful only inasmuch as it is grounded in love, authenic relationships, and interdependence. Redistribution then springs naturally out of our rebirth, from a vision of family that is larger than biology or nationalism. As we consider what it means to be "born again"...we must ask what it means to be born against into a family in which our brothers and sisters are starving to death. Then we begin to see why rebirth and redistribution are inextricably bound up in one another... It also beomes scandalous for the church to spend money on windows and buildings when some family members don't even have water. Welcome to the dysfunctional family of Yahweh."

I learned as much as I could from the rice diet, which has since been abandoned but I will probably return to several times a year to RELEARN the valuable lessons of simplicity and empathy. It was a really good jumping point to getting stuck on chapter 6, though, where it is pointed out that "rather than being bound up by how much stuff we need to buy, we can get enslaved to how simply we must live."

The Bible says that "Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none." (Luke 3:11) It is so easy for us to say, "I don't know anyone that has no shirt." My newest question is, what do I have to do so this is no longer the case? What is my responsibility? Jesus said that the poor would always be among us. Shane Claiborne suggests that this wasn't just a descriptive statement, but was pointing to one the fundamental tasks of the church, and that if the poor are NOT among us, we are not in the right place.

Forgive us, Father. You've told us EXACTLY what we are to do, but we've spent so much time asking "What does this mean?" that we've stopped looking at Scripture and asking "What can I obey?" We've insulated ourselves from the plain truth of Scripture by making everything so complicated that was never intended to be.

God solved the problem of poverty ages ago by setting up the system of Jubilee; this is something that only recently came to my attention, and it is SO intriguing to me. We don't have a right to ask, "Why does God allow poverty?" because frankly he did his bit --- the Israelites just never carried it out. But the principles remain. So what do we do?

"Folks always say the Israelites never fully lived out the Jubilee. But... Ched Mysers says, "That's no excuse to ignore God's commands. That's like saying we don't need to worry about the Sermon on the Mount since Christians have never fully practiced it."" (Irresistable Revolution, Pg. 171)

Read this carefully

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 00:23:00 +0000

Of all of the things I've read recently, this is by far the most compelling. This is from the rule packet for the game "Tichu", a card game I don't know how to play properly, but do so enjoy reading the rules for. If this doesn't make you want to play it, you have no sense of humour. This is not the exact wording of the rules including in the English game --- it is a rough translation directly from the German. Enjoy!:

------
We thank Mr Chuang for everything. Tour leader, German language section, Nanking (Nanjing). Highly recommended. He knows everything. Lengths of bridges, meaning of Buddhas, number of lorries in the province. On request also meaning of bridges, number of Buddhas and length of lorries. Some monument with five goats and a heap of 38 resistance fighters is the landmark of the town. Or perhaps only three goats and 58 figthers - anyway, there are basically more fighters than goats. And to tell the truth - that stuff about landmarks could also be said of Canton (Guangzhou) or Wuhan. But in Nanking there stood a thousand Buddha temple - the area most certainly has a landmark.

Yes, Mr Chuang is an outstanding tour guide. He casts his own Nanking aside into the Yang Tze and leads us into an unknown land: a rock concert, a psychiatric clinic and a private audience with magician. Only with the game was he not so outstanding. Naturally he knows them - he knows everything. Yet the strange card game which the people are playing everywhere in all the parks and squares seems to be frowned upon. Again and again he lures us away from the knots of people. The game is not to be explained.

Tichu is not to be explained

(If we had believed that there would be no rules with this pack. But we brought Mr Chuang round. He drummed up a game in the backroom of the souvenir shop of the Confucian temple. At first we were only allowed to watch. Then we played and the Chinese experts gave us good advice. A first rate introduction to the game, by the way. We recommend this method of learning most warmly.)

-----
Another of my favourite parts (there are many) is the following; it comes from a variation of the actual game: "The objecttive of the game does not exist. It is all for fun. At any rate the Great Lord should be able to enjoy unrestrictedly all privileges and comforts of the house (a cup of tea, a little dance performance, a parasol, choice of TV channel, even the desire to continue this lordly game for another round) "

If you are a player of this game, please let me know! I have questions! For the rest of the rules, visit: http://www.fatamorgana.ch/tichu/Tichu_english.html

Why I don't like myself on T.V.

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 21:38:00 +0000

Not ON T.V. --- I mean ON, as in "on drugs".

In my lifetime, I've had several television loves, which have fulfilled different purposes and filled different holes as needed. My interests were chronically romantic --- it wouldn't matter what the show was about; if I was watching it, I was doing so for the relationships. While the Grey's Anatomy type shows which are all about relationships are good for a quick fix, I find I'm more drawn to the House type shows where all a gal can do is hope.

X-Files was my show of choice for years while in high school. My best friends and I shared an obsession, and really our obsession fueled our friendships. So in that way, it was good. In every other way, it was a waste of time.

I'm not against recreational TV watching, within limits (though as I'm starting to question the nature of our economy, I'm developing a philosophical beef with the entertainment industry which I haven't fully developed or internalized enough to change my own consumption. More on that will no doubt follow). But I AM against what it does to those of us who are prone to such obsession. Go on the Internet and hit any kind of comment board about a current hit show and you'll see it: thousands of people who if their passions were directed toward the real world could change everything, but instead who are settling for the lesser, vicarious thrill of ready-made adventure and drama.

My husband and I are going through the X-Files on DVD right now, and sometimes I catch those feelings coming back. I find it's not a big deal when watching completed series on DVD, because there's no week-long or summer waits to find out what's next, and when it's over, it's over. But with the X-Files movie now out I find myself not wanting to see it because when I do it will mean it's all over and there's no more hope for WHATEVER it is that the stupid show is fulfilling for me.

What would change in our world if the potential for vicarious living, through books, TV, movies and video games, was removed? Would we withdraw into the stupor of the mundane and kill ourselves with boredom? Or would the need in each of us to be a part of something exciting and meaningful force us to seek it out or create it in reality?

Jody-quality service

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:55:00 +0000

Jody works for Yarmouth Kia. Kia is all about customer service --- it's their "Thing". The written on the wall "Thing". They do it well. Jody does it best. So now when Paul and I evaluate customer service anywhere, we do so based on Jody. A few days ago a Vogue Optical employee exhibited many Jody-like qualities, so of her we said, "That was some Jody-quality service!" Mediocre service might be appraised as "Not bad, but he was no Jody." Poor service would not even deserve the invocation of Jody's name; perhaps just a shake of the head and the inner acknowledgment that Jody wouldn't tolerate such things.

So to all the Jody's out there that serve as unto the Lord, or at least as unto their own integrity which calls them to give their best in all they do, I salute you.

And I'm going to write a letter to Kia telling them so.

Addendum to "Of Rice and Men"

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:41:00 +0000

To answer Hannie's question (and the concerns of Jilly-Face):

We added in fruits (which we can munch on between meals) and vegetables (which we only use WITH the rice) to make this something that isn't so dangerous and allow this to be something that we can do long term. I also drink a small glass of skim milk every day and we both take a multi-vitamin. This wasn't meant to be an exercise in understanding starvation (I don't believe that hurting our bodies in that way serves a grand enough purpose that it would balance the ill effects)--- it was only meant to be something to make us more mindful of the plight of others, and free up some resources to HELP others.

We could probably get enough calories from rice to not die (since we've said we can eat as much as we want), but because we are both exercising as well (Paul to lose weight, and myself on doctor's orders to lower my ridiculously high cholesterol), well, we're trying to find the SAFE way to do this.

This is only week one. I imagine that if it continues much longer, which I believe Paul will want it to and I do as well, it will morph many times. We've already agreed that if we do stop down the road, we're going to take one day a week and have JUST rice, to remind ourselves every week.

My hope is that this exercise, beyond what it is already doing, will help both Paul and I be more mindful of what our bodies NEED versus what they WANT. I'm terrible at giving in to Paul with the frozen pizzas and the chili and the snacks that not only are bad for us, but are an incredible waste of money that could be invested in helping others.

Anyway, I'm rambling. (Rice-brain, probably.) This is only the beginning of the journey; I'm sure I'll have more to report in the future.

PS - The other day we were shopping and Paul was looking at coffee. He turned to me and said something to the effect of "We should look for fair-trade coffee." I didn't say much in that moment, but "my heart was strangely warmed".

Of Rice and Men

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:53:00 +0000

My husband, after some reading he was doing and after HC's message at Beulah, wanted to gain some more perspective about the plight of the very poor. So for the last week, we ate nothing but rice, fruit and vegetables, and intended to give what we saved on our grocery bill toward the world food crisis. And he wants to do it for quite some time.

I'm taking the weekend off - I've already lost too much weight doing this, and I need to load up on calories (did you know that one box of PC Mac and Cheeze is 1200 calories, prepared? LUNCH!). He is also going to introduce a few foods for the weekend, to add back some variety so that Monday, when it's back to "the usual", it hits us all over again.

Because we HAVE been hit. We've learned a lot. Here are some things that have hit me most:

1. Imagine a mother cooking a meal for her kids that she knows will not be what they want, and that it will not satisfy them.
2. imagine a mother having to tell her hungry children that there is no more, that they will have to wait until tomorrow --- having to CHOOSE to ration what they have to make it last.
3. Imagine having to eat what there is --- never enough calories and energy provided --- and then walk for miles to get water that may or may not be sanitary. Would you have to limit your activity so that you wouldn't need as many calories?

Once or twice a day I decide I can't do it --- that I need to have a real meal. I rationalize and I scheme. Thankfully, and definitely surprisingly, it's my husband who says "no" and helps me continue. I'm very proud of him right now. Very proud. This is really the first time I've felt him tangibly connect with the issues that I'm so passionate about. And I wonder, in the back of my mind, where all this might lead.

Toast, barring a miracle of God

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 22:28:00 +0000

As in, I will BE toast.

I am exhausted. I came over to Saint John on the boat Tuesday (where I missed my nap because the boat wasn't rough enough), spent a usual late night Mao-ing it up with the Youngs, woke the next day and had a busy day (missed by nap again), spoke at Mugs grad that night, and stayed up late again. Thursday was up early to play Caylus (well, I've been getting up at 7 every day --- the game didn't start 'til 8:30) with Gracie and Dan, then the bustle of getting the Youngs packed and sent off to Caton's. Then I did Exalt prep all afternoon (and yes, missed my nap). Lynnette came over. Late night of playing Mario I on the Wii. Up early the next day for Exalt prep again, and to the Myerseses for overnight (was in bed by 11, but still missed my nap). Adventures and general ridiculousness at the Myerseses 'til 3 this afternoon. Exalt prep, then, FINALLY, a nap. But it helped not a bit.

And Exalt hasn't even started yet! So, I will be toast, barring a miracle of God.

Movies I saw this trip and enjoyed: Yentl (Barbra Steisand; I hated the end and it bugged me that Mandy Patinkin was in the movie but didn't sing!) and Court Jester (with a young Angela Landsbury and the mother from Mary Poppins; like a subtle (and clean) Monty Python, with more singing).

What to do, what to do...

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:37:00 +0000

I am all about supporting worthy causes. Every once in awhile it occurs to me that I am donating with money that's not really mine, since Paul and I are ridiculously in debt (student loans, car loan, credit cards, etc.), but frankly, I don't care. God has been faithful to provide - we are making our payments, so big whip.

Today this global food crisis is getting to me like nothing ever has before. I can't do enough. I've already committed to cutting back on our own grocery bill so we can put money toward helping. I cut down our phone and satellite services to basic when I finished at my job, but decided to keep it that way (satellite will eventually go altogether, as soon as I can talk my husband into that. Internet would be gone too, but we both need it for our work/volunteering). There's things I want, some things that I have wanted for a long time, but I'm doing my best to talk myself out of all unnecessary purchases so that I'm freed up to give. I still slip up, but with God's help, I'm doing much better to live with integrity in this area. I'm going to start borrowing things I only need temporarily, and yard sale-ing for things I need for longer. No more buying books --- that's what the library is for. No more buying gifts --- making donations in people's names (and asking them to do the same for Paul and I rather than giving us gifts) is what I feel compelled to do. I still need to deal better with the eating out issue, but considering I can't eat anything good (i.e. greasy) when eating out anyway, that helps a lot.

But it's not enough. I understand the principle of "once you've done all you can, help other's to do the same", but I don't know how to do that. I mean, I DO know, but... Well, for example, right now there's a group from our church raising money for a missions trip to the Ukraine. So wouldn't it be wrong of me to launch some major fundraising compaign that would run in competition to that (whether it was meant to or not) or any of the other very worthy causes around here?

I know, I know, there's lots to go around. But still.

And what about supporting other "worthy causes"? Is it right to donate money to the Girl Guides or to a missions team or to the humane organization I volunteer for or support someone in some kind of Run for Life event when I could be using that money to donate toward the global food crisis? Should I be buying my foster kid from El Salvador that big birthday gift I had planned? People are hungry, and dying, and the world is in turmoil, perhaps moreso than ever before.

What to do, what to do...

What about you? What, if anything, do you feel compelled to do? What do you wish you could do?

It makes it so much easier that I don't have kids --- gracious, how do you go about balancing a compassionate heart with wanting the very, very best in comfort and happiness for a family? --- and that I have a husband that doesn't question where our money goes (he's happy as long as he has enough for Tim Horton's coffee and frozen taquitos). I'd love to hear from a few of you who have a family and feel torn in this sort of thing.

Before I loved Jesus, I was so burdened by the state of the world. I'm so greatful that God is in control, and that he does not burden, but CHALLENGES us to be his hands and feet. Because I hate what I see happening in the world. But I love a challenge.

Practice

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 23:17:00 +0000

My Person and another dear friend and I have gotten into the practice of "Practicing Community". Those of you in evangelical circles have heard this language, no doubt, and would have an idea of what I mean.

This started when one evening we were playing Dutch Blitz and the topic of "authentic community" came up. We defined it --- honesty, accountability, the idea of "if you have anything against your brother leave your offering"; essentially the idea of doing life together as the Body of Christ in the way that the Bible seems to indicate God has created us to do, for our own good and for Kingdom good. And after the defining process, we pondered how on earth one would go about it. Not that we didn't recognize the benefits. But considering the church does NOT currently operate like that, it would essentially need to be grandfathered in. And does that ever work? This isn't a program, after all. This is changing the way we relate to people, which perhaps might be simple enough in theory, except that it would also involve changing the way THEY relate to US.

But despite our bafflement, that night we embarked on the project of "Practicing Community" with one another. And when I say "practice", I mean it in the sense that we were PRACTICING like an athelete or a musician practices. Trying it out. Giving ourselves permission to suck and get better.

I will share more on this in the future, but for now I will just say that I am truly blessed to be a part of this project. I have learned so much about myself (and about how I am not unique or alone in my struggles... what a relief!) and about the freedom that comes from not having to second guess myself, because I am in community with people who have pledged to be honest with me about how they are feeling. If I feel like I have offended one of them, it is my responsibility to immediately make that right. If I have been offended, the same thing. If I am struggling, it is my responsibility to not struggle alone, but to seek accountability and help. And it is their responsibility to do that to the best of their ability, so I don't have to feel guilty about imposing, or feel alone. If I am lying to myself, they are there to tell me, not coddle me. But still to love me. Gracious.

Not that we've got it all figured out. PRACTICE. It's okay to get it wrong when you have pledged to be honest and forgive mistakes. For me, my current area of practice is learning to speak the TRUTH in love boldly (which I have little trouble with with my Community) while being careful to distinguish that from speaking my OPINION in love, which should not be done so boldly. And, of course, learning how speaking the TRUTH to my Community must be altered to speak truth in love to other brothers and sisters in Christ. Because my Community knows me and is learning to understand my personality, to recognize that if I speak forcefully it reflects that I love and care forcefully. So how DOES that translate into people that don't know me as intimately?

Anyway, I don't know why I'm so amazed to be so fulfilled by something God intended all along, that he wrote down 2000 years ago. But I am. Amazed and fulfilled and blessed beyond measure.

What about you? Have you seen this or experienced this?

Grey's had lost me for awhile.

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Fri, 23 May 2008 03:08:00 +0000

House was just so much better. I took Grey's off my "favourite TV shows" on Facebook and everything.

Remind me to put it back on.

UnBELIEVABLE. I wish the series was over, because it was just too perfect, and I can't see it ever being better. My only regret is that I can never watch it for the first time again.

In light of recent events...

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:48:00 +0000

...I am understandably angry.

Thousands die. Upwards of a million need aid. And yesterday I bought an ice cream cone.

If I wasn't married to a man who doesn't share my passion for fixing the world, I'd be gone. In fact, I'd probably be dead by now, having taken a stupid risk to save a few people. I'm glad Paul and I are married, though, because while I have a passion, I also feel like I have a call: to work on the home front to help (and mobilize others to help) raise up socially conscious, compassionate children and teens (who would otherwise be in danger of not only giving in totally to their innate selfishness, but of never learning to dream that their selfLESSness could make any significant impact) that will some day effect change on a much wider scale than I ever could. Being "stuck" with Paul keeps me from being a flight risk.

But the need to act NOW is tough to deal with. It's good, though, because it makes me think about how OTHERS must feel. Not everyone that bought an ice cream cone yesterday is unfeeling and uncaring about the state of the world. They just don't know what to do about it. I'm praying that God will reveal something to me that will lead to the deployment of many ice cream eaters.

Especially those who, like me, are understandably angry.

Things that happened recently while I was (or should have been) in bed

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 23:00:00 +0000

1. I read some letters that Heather Kloosterman-Smid and Meghan MacKinnon and also the Composite Three wrote to me when I was in high school. Many I recycled because I have absolutely no idea what they were talking about. Most I chuckled at regardless. Some I saved because I just couldn't part with them. Dana, I'm sorry I was too young to realize how special our friendship was.

2. I spoke with Dan Young via Facebook, and we came to an understanding regarding the letter "I" and the word "EYE", and how they might be interchanged in some circumstances to aid comprehension.

3. I spoke to Lynnette via phone. I want her to visit over Easter.

4. I played Rock Band (see #9 to know why this was stupid).

5. I cleaned using Melaleuca products that I ordered and which arrived Wednesday at my door. I hope the novelty doesn't wear off any time soon, because suddenly these products have made cleaning seem fun, so I've done a lot of it. While I should have been in bed, of course.

6. My husband drove me to work, and I felt like I was on a roller coaster, which I hate. (He was driving the speed limit.)

7. I went to work.

8. I DIDN'T go to work, because my boss let me stay in bed. She's super.

9. I didn't watch TV. TV has moving images, and the world is already seeming to move on its own.

10. I paid bills online, and changed preferences on my Aliant account.

11. I watched a lot of House online (though more listened then watched - see #9).

12. I smelled spring, and french fries. These odours are complimentary.

13. I played a lot of Scrabulous.

14. I saw Betty Weatherby. She's across the street at Esther's.

15. I realized how much of my student loan I still owe, and vowed to pay it off post haste now that I figured out how to pay lump sums through online banking. Sheesh.

16. I didn't drink enough water.

Still happy and blessed

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 22:23:00 +0000

I don't know if it's fair, and I DO know it can't be interesting, for me to just keep saying "I am still happy. I am still blessed." But there's not really much else to be said. We've been here almost 8 months, and I can't imagine ever wanting to be anywhere else. Will that change? Maybe, as I get more used to this place. But right now, I am thoroughly content.

I've made a few lists of things I love here. I will now make another. You will note overlap, but you'll just have to deal with it.

0. (I have to put a 0 because my husband was offended that he was at #7 - I told him that last was most important, but he didn't believe me.) I love my husband. See #7

1. I love my Sunday school class - Women, around my age, loving each other and talking about stuff that matters. And crying a lot, but we're women, so that's okay!

2. I love volunteering for PET Projects. This week I helped facilitate the adoption of a senior dog who would have otherwise been put down --- a WONDERFUL dog who needed a chance to be happy. And our foster cat Suki is going to HER new home tomorrow. And I'm making so many new connections with people. I LOVE it.

3. I love driving to work and driving home. The view is absolutely amazing.

4. I love my job - my funding has been extended again, plus I've cut back my hours because of my health, so I will probably be there forever before I get all my contracted hours in. Longest summer job I've ever had :)

5. I love Smart Pasta. Praise the Lord.

6. I love my neighbour - and sometimes I think I MIGHT just be able to beat her at Scrabulous.

7. I love my husband. He doesn't put up with my crap, but instead of beating me up about being an idiot, he just loves me instead. (My husband has pointed out that "doesn't that mean I DO put up with your crap?") He doesn't always remember to put out the garbage, but he's still a swell guy :)

That's the condensed list. #8 would be my Person Jill, but she's in Florida right now, so I both miss her and hate her. :)

A concern I have, and my Lenton fast

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 18:36:00 +0000

This is not meant to be a rant or start a rant, please understand. And I know I am not in a position to judge people simply because the way the school system is set up played to my strengths and ability to learn, therefore placing me at an (unfair?) advantage over some others in certain areas. I'm just concerned, that's all, about the inability(?) of many individuals to effectively express themselves in writing.

I don't mean those who choose to "simplify" their writing style to be concise or trendy; I am prone to emoticons and "lol"ing myself (though I can't bring myself to sacrifice things like proper capitalization for the sake of expediency). But it is SHOCKING to me the number of Facebook posts I have seen that reflect a very poor grasp of the basics of the English language. And I'm not just talking about an obvious haste and lack of editing that can lead to typos and left out words, or the mixing up of some of the particulars, like whether a period is placed inside or outside the bracket; I'm guilty of that, too, on occasion. ( And, in fact, when I was just spelling "occasion" I spelled it wrong (added an extra "s") and was corrected by the built-in spellchecker. Maybe I should be harder on myself for that, because most certainly I've misspelled (misspelled that word, too) that word before and perhaps I've become a little lazy relying on spellcheck to catch my little "oops" es.) and while I think those things are important, it's not keeping me up at night. I'm talking about sentences and words and paragraphs being so mangled that they can, at times, be barely recognizable as English.

I just wonder if a few decades ago people would have been too embarrassed to express themselves in writing if their knowledge only allowed them to do so at the level that is ignored or tolerated or even flaunted today. I don't begrudge people the right to express themselves, and I understand that since so much of our lives are now focused on the written word because of technology, it's inevitable that those that don't excel in that area would still need to put themselves out there in print. But what it reveals about where society is going (or maybe has always been but it just hasn't been as evident 'til now) is a concern.

Speaking as a youth worker who spends far too much time trying to "decode" messages from my kids, I think it's a VALID concern. These kids SHOULD know how to write at a reasonable level - they SHOULD have been given the tools. I don't expect them to become journalists or novelists, but they SHOULD be able to construct a sentence and spell in ways that are at least PHONETICALLY sound, if not always 100% correct... shouldn't they? Shouldn't they know the difference between "here" and "hear"? Shouldn't they know how to use a comma or a semi-colon? Shouldn't they know that most words are NOT spelled with a backslash?

So where do we lay the blame, so that reform can begin? The school system? The Internet? The parents? The kids? I don't know. I'm just concerned. Generations from now, will people even be able to read "correctly" written documents? Or will the language have so changed that they only understand the "mess" that plagues our message boards today?

And now, on to Lent. I have decided to fast from "Extras" and "Excesses" this season. I'm still fleshing out exactly what that will entail, but essentially I'm going to not eat out when I COULD eat at home, and not pay extra for three-ply when 2-ply will work just as good. And I'm going to TRY to apply that to media as well - I can watch TV when there's something on I'm planning to see (ex. House), but I want to stop just having the TV on for something to do. And go on Facebook to send and receive messages, but not waste time randomly looking people up. We'll see how it goes.

I'm starting Lent a little late, I know, but I actually forgot about it until I was reminded by Liz's blog (thanks, Liz!). Are you observing Lent this year? And if so, what are you giving up?

The Pros and Cons of Foster Parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 01:31:00 +0000

I volunteer with an organization called "PET Projects" (petprojects.petfinder.com), which is a part of the Beulah Berman Memorial Animal Shelter Society. I am their webmaster, and also a foster parent. The shelter exists but has been closed due to lack of funding. While they work to figure out how to get the funds to reopen it, foster parenting has allowed us to still take in animals that need homes. Here are the pros and cons of this system, as I see them.

CONS:
1. All of the animals are not in a central location, so no one can simply walk through the shelter and see an animal that they simply "MUST" take home...
2. There are only so many foster homes - we often have to turn animals away.
3. Being so spread out makes administration more of a chore, and so can be harder on the volunteers.
4. Foster parents get attached to the animals, and then cry when they leave (Well, maybe that's just me)

PROS:
1. Animals are not in cages waiting for homes - they are IN homes being socialized and trained and, most importantly, loved
2. Foster parents have a vested interest in seeing a pet find a home, and will work harder to see that happen.
3. How fun is it to get a batch of kittens to enjoy, then find them homes before they get old and not-as-cute, only to get ANOTHER batch of kittens? :)

We've had two batches of kittens now (the last kitten from this batch is going tomorrow - he's leaning against my arm sleeping as I write this), but as much fun as they were to have around, I found finding Mattie a home to be much more satisfying. I've probably already blogged about him, but Mattie was living in an old car and had been homeless for at least a year (being fed by a nice couple who couldn't take him in but wanted to help all they could). He was a big boy, and so beautiful, but older and beat up and scarred. Such a sweetheart - I loved him very much. But I assumed it would be almost impossible to find a home for him because of his age.

So when he went to his new home, it was an awesome feeling. I wish more people would be willing to adopt older cats. But at the same time, I understand why you would want a kitten --- jeepers, I LOVE having kittens here all the time! But all cats were once kittens, and they deserve homes. Would YOU adopt an older cat?

Anyway, this kitty has the right idea - time for sleep.

Meet my family

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:22:00 +0000

I have a big brother named Dan. He's a pastor in Truro, and plays lots of instruments, just like me. He's got a wife and three kids. I haven't met him yet, or his family. But I will.

I have a big sister named Tammy, whom I'm so proud to be related to. She's strong and smart and gifted. And she loves teens, just like me. I can see so much of myself in her, and that scares me, because I'm afraid that will make it hard for us to get close to each other. And I really want to. She has a husband and a baby on the way in September. I hope I will get to be a part of his or her life.

I have a big brother named Tim, whom I love already; I think I loved him from the moment I met him. He has a huge heart and even though I've only just begun to know him, I find that I miss him in a way I can't begin understand. His wife Erin was so quick to reach out to me, and welcomed me into their home and life like I belonged there. And that has made all the difference; I am so grateful. My niece Ana is beautiful and hilarious and articulate and it hurts me that she lives so far away and I can't watch her grow up. My niece Addison makes me melt, and it amazes me that this little person will grow up to know me as her "aunt", and her daddy's sister. I never thought I would know that feeling.

I have another brother out there somewhere, who I will probably never know, and who the others don't know either. But that's okay. For now.

I have a father out there somewhere who did a bad and violent thing, and because of that bad and violent thing, I came into the world. They didn't catch him, so I will never know him.

And I had a mother who thought of me often, who as I understand it was haunted by the secret of my birth. She kept it from everyone, even her closest friend. She revealed it, only because she had no choice when confronted with the evidence, to my sister Tammy who sought me out; my brothers didn't know I existed until after I'd been found. I wish I could have told her that she had done the right thing. I wish I could have thanked her and reassured her.

But God's timing is perfect. Of this, I have no doubt.

I am awesome

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:07:00 +0000

My cholesterol has dropped another point! I'm now at 5.6, and that's just with diet! SO, no medication for me! I need to start exercising, and then maybe I'll get into a "healthy" range. But 5.6! I am TOTALLY awesome. I have my results copied and hanging on my wall at work --- even my doctor said I should frame it and show it off to the world.

Here's a light update, to be followed by my "news" in another post:

1. I went to Ontario for 10 days after Christmas, and it was nice. I bought my mom a hamster, and she named him "Salvador". In Ontario, there was but dial-up, and I mourned. I knew in theory what "dial-up" meant, but to LIVE it... I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

2. Still working, 'til at least the end of February, and probably mid-March. Of course, I have a whole week on Ontario-vacation to make up, so after I'm done, I still have to work. But that is quite okay.

3. My person Jill is playing the drums for me on Sunday night when I lead music at church. This is her VERY FIRST TIME. Awesome. My person Jill is also having a baby! This is most excellent news that I can finally tell people after keeping my mouth shut for quite some time.

4. Mattie has found a good home and is doing well. We currently have 3 kittens - Muddles, Cashews and Pete. THey are VERY little and we're in the throes of potty training right now, which has proven to be gross at times. Cashews is doing great -- it's the BOYS that feel the need to poop in random places. Isn't that always the case...

5. I am travelling into Shelburne once a week now to teach Internet at the library there - 6 clients back to back, with the possibility of 2 more. LONG day. I'm dead on Thursdays. This coming Wednesday I will be enjoying supper between clients with THE Daniel Young, as well as a boy I call "Shelburne" (aka "Thank you, Dave"). Anticipating good times, had by all.

6. Saw "Bucket List" last night --- I left before the throw-up scene, then came back to enjoy the rest. Not bad at all, for what it was. THe last line was my very favourite. Looking forward to seeing Juno with Jilly when I'm over the plague.

7. I have the plague. While I imagine I have the flu shot to thank for not having gotten anything ridiculous thus far, I now have the cold to beat all colds. No, that's not true --- it's not so bad.

8. I do not have cancer, at least not that I know of. A large mass turned out to be a benign cyst. This is good news.

9. There are three episodes of House left.

10. When I was home in Ontario, I met with my dear cousin Tina, who directed me to read the book "Crow Lake", as well as a few others I have not yet gotten to, but will, because my cousin has impeccable taste, proven by "Crow Lake". I also met with my dear friend Emily (aka Mal), a lovely gal who was almost born in my father's car. Good to reconnect. AND, now I will never forget when my anniversary is, for she has given me a memory peg to hang that hat on.

11. I am blessed.

My first REAL Christmas tree!

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 22:57:00 +0000

I am a terrible wife, most of the time, but my husband is always giving me special blessings regardless. My first REAL Christmas tree is one of them. I LOVE it. And last night we had the teens over for their first J.P. Peterson Smith Seasonal Decorating Challenge, and we had them make ornaments, which look AWESOME! We'll do this every year and fill the tree with homemade keepsakes. I keep thinking that this is going to be so special when (Lord willing, should He give us that many years on this earth) 10, 20 and 30 years down the road all these kids are in college, and we can decorate the tree and remember them and think of how far they've come.

My life is so full of blessings.

Cussin'

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 01:22:00 +0000

Discussing the rules

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 00:43:00 +0000

I spent many days with the Youngs, including one extra day when the Digby ferry was canceled on account of weather. I did NOT manage my energy well and conked out in a chair early the last night. However, the other nights we stayed up quite late and did some of the things we do best: made a lot of noise, played Mao, sang in some incredible harmonies (I am learning how to sing the Pokemon theme song so that I can add my harmonies to that of the Youngs on my next visit), ate stuff Deb made, and laughed 'til we cried. My new favourite Mao rule is that every time you get a penalty, you have to thank Dave. Ex. "Penalty for playing out of turn" must be followed with the response "Thank you, Dave".

I played a lot of Wizard Chess also. And quoted Catface. "I must go to the shops, yes." And my new favourite board game is called "Caylus".

The kittens have returned to their home. The very next day I picked up Mattie, who has been living in an old car for at least a year. He needs a home. He's away today getting fixed, but we have another visitor in his place --- a tiny, tiny little kitten who is currenly acclimating herself to her surroundings and is fascinated by a plastic-encased clock laying on the spare bed (she keeps batting at the second-hand). She will be with us 'til Christmas; she already has a home to go to. My cats are not super-excited to have her here, but are reacting more with curiosity than animosity, despite their silly hissing. This cat hisses back, though --- good for her :)

I visited Saint John First Wesleyan this weekend, and it was a good thing. I think this is only the second time I've been back for a service, and so there was a lot of hugging.

Remiss

noreply@blogger.com (Nata) — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 01:23:00 +0000

I don't like using the computer at home, because I'm on it all day at work. And I don't blog at work, because blogging is not work. And so here is yet another disjointed update:

I am on my first forever medication for my thyroid, and will soon be on my second, for my cholesterol, because after months of eating VERY well, my overall only dropped a point, and my doctor says it should have dropped back to normal long ago if it was just a diet issue. So it's hereditary. I'm adopted, as some of you would know, so my medical history is sketchy. I guess it's about time to have my adoption records opened.

There are cats EVERYWHERE at my house. We're fostering three fluffy kittens, and still have our two cats. This amounts to us having the same amount of cats as there are rooms in our house. That might be okay if the cats would spread out, but they are prone to all wanting to be wherever we are. One of the cats likes to try to cram her nose up my nose. That's my favourite. And last night Milo fell into the bathtub while I was in it. And sometimes I wake up and a cat is sleeping on my face. This is actually all more enjoyable than it sounds.

These cats will actually be returning home --- one of their humans is in the hospital, but will be home in two weeks and then the kittens will go back to their family.

My husband and I got the first season of 24 from the library - 6 hours to go. Lovely show.

Things I have not yet ceased to love: My job, my boss, my friends, my Person, my church, my neighbours.

A few weeks ago I travelled to Charlottetown, Halifax and Lower Sackville to represent Bethany at a College/University fair - VERY fun. It's great to have a job that provides so much flexibility.

Speaking of job flexibility, my boss has okayed another trek to Saint John for next weekend.

Looks like some more funding might be available for me, which means I'll be at my job until at least March. This is EXCELLENT news.

Sela Ward is my favourite actress. I wish she was in more stuff.

I miss Exalt. I wish it happened more than once a year.

My husband is in rough shape. He lost a filling a while ago, and in my attempt to teach him responsibility in baby steps, I told him that if he gave me some numbers for local dentists, I would call and find one that would take him. He did not, so I did not. Now he is in terrible, terrible pain. (Suffice it to say I called to make an appointment without him fulfilling his part of the bargain --- hopefully the consequences of his procrastination will effectively teach him the lesson.) I want to take him to outpatients to get an antibiotic to tide him over until his dentist appointment on Tuesday, but being the stubborn man that he is, he refuses.

My roommate has Typhus. (That roommate is obviously Selinda.) Only my boss seems to understand that this is cool. Everyone else looks at me like I have two heads when I tell them the news with excitement. Typhus is even cooler than malarya. She had that too, you know! (She's recovering, by the way. It wouldn't be cool if she wasn't --- I'm not a monster!)

My Person gave me the nicest pair of brown boots. Tomorrow she is giving me a coat that goes with them. I TOLD you she has the best hand-me-downs.

I have observed some of the coolest things about people in my church. I will share them the next time I blog. I'm done now. :)